To those who were there on Dec. 23

To begin, I would like to say that no one was seriously harmed in this incident and for that I am so grateful.

To the man who called 911,

I cannot begin to express how thankful I am for you. When I was too flustered to do anything, you called 911 and disabled my car horn (that was blaring incessantly). You also stayed with me, made a statement for the police officer, and backed up my story. I am so glad that you and your family were not hit, and that you were all able to go home safely. Thank you again. I will never be able to say that enough.

To the woman whose car was hit by mine,

I am so sorry that you had to be involved in this, I almost wish that I was the only one sitting at that light. I don't wish that, because I would have gone sailing into traffic and might have been severely injured or killed. So I am thankful that you were there that night. I am also thankful that you and your daughter are safe and that you were so willing to give your statement to the officer. I understand why your first comment to me was slightly rude, and I hold nothing from that against you. Thank you for listening to me instead of jumping into accusing me. I hope that you and your family have the merriest of Christmases.

To the witness who didn't stay on scene,

I am eternally grateful for people like you. Even though you didn't stay with me, you still took action and called in the license plate of the driver who hit me. You made the process go so much faster and gave me so much peace as I left the scene. Thank you to the ends of the galaxies.

To the man who drove drunk,

I only wish three things when it comes to you. First, I wish that you hadn't even decided to go out drinking that night because I hope that your driving would have been safer if you hadn't. Second, I wish that traffic had been heavier so that I could have caught more details of your truck or even your face because it would make this process much smoother for me. And lastly, I wish that you will learn from this. You did an awful thing that did so much damage to my life, and you need to take responsibility for that. But I do forgive you. I hold only a little malice toward you, but it is fading. Soon, you will be known as the man who murdered my Henry, but nothing more. I hope they find you quickly. Merry Christmas.

To the officer that arrived as fast as he could,

Thank you for working with all of the witnesses on scene and for keeping us informed as to how the search was going. Thank you for being so kind as I was a puddle of sobs, and for being patient with me. You are amazing, and I am grateful beyond words for you.

To the highway patrol officer,

Thank you for being so quick to find the drunk man's car and for identifying the marks so accurately. I never got to speak with you, but I wanted to thank you regardless.

To the tow truck man,

Thank you for being so willing to open up my trunk so I could get my hammock out, that meant the world to me. Thank you also for cleaning up after my dearest Henry so thoroughly, and for taking him away. You are fantastic. I hope you have a merry christmas.

To my mom,

Thank you for coming so quickly and for calming me down in the midst of all the chaos. Thank you for reminding me to get my umbrella and anything else I needed from inside of Henry and for asking the tow truck man to open the trunk to get my hammock. Thank you also for taking care of me since the accident and for driving me to work. I don't know what I would do without you. I love you.

To my dearest Henry,

You were the greatest first car a girl could ask for. I am so thankful for the many memories that we made and that you kept me safe in all of the minor accidents we've been in. I am also thankful that you protected me in this incident, that your airbags went off properly, and that my seat-belt kept me locked in place. Nothing will ever take your place in my heart. I will always remember you. I love you.

To my awesome God,

My life could have been taken so easily, but you chose to keep me here on earth for a while longer. I am so thankful for that. You had your hands all over this whole situation and you kept everyone involved safe. Thank you. This was part of your plan, and although I don't understand it, I know you will use it for something great. Tell Jesus Happy Birthday from me. I love you.

                     In loving memory of Henry, my first car. Jan 1995 - Dec 23 2015

Claire: clear, bright

I want you to meet my sweet friend Claire.
This girl literally bounded into my life, and I could not be more thankful.

Today has been the day of Claire and Stevie. Today, we shared stories of our hopes and our fears and the things that are binding our hearts and setting our souls free. Today was full of freedom and abandonment of self-consciousness.

Because of today, I want to write about just what Claire means to me.

Dear Claire,
You are beauty. You are passion. You are joy. You are freedom. You are inspiration. Everyday, when I'm given the opportunity to be graced with your presence, I feel overwhelmed with blessings. I am so thankful for your willingness to spend time with people. I am even more thankful that I get to be one of the people you spend time with.
I am inspired by you. You compel me to grow my faith and my relationships with people. I love how you interact with others. There is a sense of boldness that radiates from you, even in the times that you are the most vulnerable.
You are so wise. It gives me such peace to know that you will always know the right things to say in every situation. I love that despite being in different situations and from different backgrounds we can come together and be such great friends. I will never forget the day that you ran into my room to tell me that my first day of school picture was cute. I wouldn't have guessed that we would know each other so well and get along so wonderfully, but I'm so very thankful that we do.
To my sweet, outgoing, and fun-loving friend: I cannot tell you how much you mean to me and how thankful I am to have you in my life. I love you so much.

when the tears started rolling

God and I had the coolest chat today. 

The kind of chat that leaves peace and beauty in its wake. 

I watched the sky change on my way home; the clouds rolled over the sun and onto one another. I marveled at their beauty. 

The colors morphed from blues to yellows to greys, and the light beams shot straight through every opening they could find. 

My eyes could never open wide enough to fully embrace what I saw today, but man did they try. 

That's when we started to talk. 

Tears were rolling down my face because I was so in awe of what He had created. The words began to pour out of my mouth: 

I love you

You make beautiful things

I am yours

Take my heart

I asked for peace and the sun broke free of the clouds to warm my face like a loved ones touch. 

I asked for forgiveness and the rain washed over my car like the blood of Jesus washed away all sins. 

I poured out my heart and he painted his response in the horizon. 

"My daughter, you are mine and I am yours"

We chatted, like friends who've been together since birth. We laughed and we cried, and we swore to never say goodbye. We promised one simple little thing:

Our chat is not over yet.